On entering a Zoom room, gathering with strangers to embark on a journey together, I notice that people take a while to be still. Some glance sideways, their fingers hovering above a keyboard, or rifle through papers in quick, uneven motions. Others sit rigidly, their shoulders square, faces fixed in smiles that hold for a moment before fading. The corners of mouths twitch slightly. Someone sits just a bit too low, with their chin seemingly resting on the edge of their virtual window. The image adjusts and readjusts in small, uneven movements up and down as they settle the camera lens into place.
Each tiny gesture adds to the rhythm of arrival. A hand hovers over a mouse, a gaze flickers toward the camera, a posture shifts. The movements seem to edge toward stillness, but not all at once. The space begins to hold us, and we begin to hold the space in turn, as if a silent negotiation unfolds between what is inside and what is shared.
The space begins to hold us, and we begin to hold the space in turn, as if a silent negotiation unfolds between what is inside and what is shared.
Closeness, whether physical or relational, shifts in a Zoom room. One person leans closer to the screen, their presence filling the frame. Another sits further back, more of their body visible. Their facial features blur into the busyness of the room behind them, the decorative spines of books drawing attention.
A neighbour in the Zoom room, next to me in the gallery, turns her camera off. As her image vanishes, replaced by her name in simple text, the shift breaks the stillness in its own quiet way. It draws attention, underlining the impermanence of presence here.
She is not unusual in this negotiation of proximity, otherwise known as intimacy. Being visible or invisible becomes another way to balance closeness and space
Proxemics—the study of how humans use space
Even in this digital realm, personal space still matters. Between the lean toward the frame that invites attention and the step back that grants room to breathe, a delicate choreography emerges, shaping how we inhabit this shared but intangible space.
Given the virtuality of a Zoom room, especially if it’s full, one might speculate there’s a kind of anonymity. A participant adjusts their headphones, the sound of rustling papers briefly audible. Another leans forward, their face momentarily filling the frame, before leaning back again into their chair. Someone’s muted laughter ripples through the gallery, a sound untethered from its origin.
I suppose I could theorize how it is that people make space for each other, but that is really not the point. Instead, consider that in almost every instance of our lives, we are attuning to each other in constant, if subtle, ways.
Connection is our default mode. It happens not because of proximity, but because of our ability to attune ourselves to what is present, even if unseen.
Sensing into energy
What is it that we are sensing into? Perhaps it is the luminous energy field, the subtle, often unseen aura that extends outward from our physical bodies. This field, unbound by locality, is not held by the constraints of time or space. While our physical bodies are firmly located in the present, our luminous bodies move through non-locality, blending and resonating beyond the physical.
Perhaps it is this field we attune to, consciously or unconsciously, that allows us to feel each other across screens, across oceans, across distance. Even if not everyone sees yet, it is there, waiting for us to sense, to recognize, and to connect.
Developing the capacity to sense the subtle shifts in energy—both our own and others’—is no small task. It requires stillness and presence, a willingness to use ourselves as instruments finely attuned to the subtleties of connection. We are cultivating a virtuosity that allows us to feel the rhythms of others and to offer our own.
Kerry Woodcock PhD, PCC, ORSCC, ACTC, EIA-SP, ITCA, ESIA, develops core, collective and change leadership capacity in leaders, teams and organizations, coaching pioneers and influencers to amplify the power of relationship and lead over the edge of change.Â
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