Reflections from a Conversation on Teams, Coaching, and the Courage to Notice
Collusion is a word that can sound sharp, accusatory, even conspiratorial.
Yet when we sit with it together, something more subtle begins to emerge.
In our recent Novalda Conversation series on collusion, “Cutting the Strings of Collusion,” a group of coaches gathered to explore a deceptively simple question:
Where might collusion be happening — inside us, between us, and within the systems we serve?
What emerged was not a discussion about conspiracy or wrongdoing, but something far more subtle.
Collusion often appears quietly in teams and organisations — through agreement, silence, loyalty, and the patterns we find ourselves playing along with before we have fully noticed them.
At one point in the conversation, we paused to notice something:
Where do you feel collusion in the body?
Participants described sensations such as a yanking upward, almost like the pull of a marionette string, and a forward pull toward agreement.
Those moments opened a deeper inquiry about how systems sometimes reveal themselves through the roles we find ourselves playing within them.
Before going further, I want to extend a genuine thank you to those who joined the conversations. The reflections in this piece emerged through your willingness to think aloud, notice your own patterns, and share honestly about the realities of working with teams, co-coaches, and leadership systems.
These reflections are therefore not conclusions, but threads from a collective inquiry.
Collusion: Playing Together
One of the places I like to begin when exploring a concept is the dictionary.
The word collusion traces back to the Latin colludere, meaning “to play together.”
That meaning shifts the tone of the conversation.
Collusion is not always a dark or deliberate conspiracy. Often it is simply the ways we begin playing together inside a system, sometimes without quite realizing it.
We align.
We support.
We agree.
We protect.
And sometimes, without noticing, we begin participating in patterns the system itself may be inviting.
When Systems Pull the Strings
At the beginning of the conversation I shared a quote that has stayed with me for years:
“If we do not observe ourselves, we cannot ever hope to be our own master.
We will be like marionettes, yanked by every impulse tugging on our strings.”
— Don Richard Riso
The image of the marionette stayed with us throughout the dialogue.
Systems often pull at our strings in subtle ways.
We may notice ourselves suddenly:
- leaning toward agreement
- defending someone
- stepping in to rescue
- withdrawing from a difficult moment
- aligning with one part of the team
- or becoming the challenger in the room
These experiences can feel personal.
Yet sometimes what we are encountering is parallel process.
Teams and systems often reveal themselves through how we get played — and how we begin playing along.
Rather than immediately asking:
What am I doing wrong?
a more generative question might be:
What might this system be showing me through the role I am being invited to play?
Seen this way, collusion becomes not only something to guard against, but something that can illuminate the deeper dynamics of the system.
Three Lenses on Collusion
As we spoke together, several lenses on collusion began to emerge. Not as rigid frameworks, but as ways of noticing what happens within systems.
Three Monkeys: How Collusion Hides
In an earlier conversation in this series, one participant introduced the image of the three monkeys.
See no evil.
Hear no evil.
Speak no evil.
The metaphor stayed with me and resurfaced in this dialogue as well.
In teams and leadership systems this pattern can appear as:
- not noticing a dynamic that others may already sense
- hearing something uncomfortable but minimizing its significance
- noticing a pattern yet choosing not to name it
Collusion often lives not in what we actively do, but in what remains unseen, unheard, or unsaid.
During the conversation we paused with a simple inquiry:
Where might collusion be showing up inside you — or between you and the system you are part of?
Sometimes the first step in cutting the strings is simply bringing awareness to the pattern.
The Drama Triangle: How Collusion Organizes Roles
When patterns remain unseen or unnamed, systems often begin organizing themselves into familiar relational roles.
Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle describes three positions that frequently emerge in human systems:
Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor.
In coaching conversations the Rescuer role is often emphasized. Many coaches recognize the pull to step in, support, fix, or protect a struggling team.
Yet in team coaching the experience is often more complex.
Coaches can find themselves experiencing all three roles.
At times we may step into rescuer, over-functioning for a team that appears stuck or overwhelmed.
At other moments we may feel victimised by projections, resistance, or frustration within the system.
And sometimes, when we challenge patterns the team is not yet ready to face, we may be experienced as the persecutor.
From a systemic perspective, these roles are not simply personal behaviours. They often mirror dynamics already present within the team itself. The role we find ourselves occupying may therefore be part of the information the system is offering.
In more developmental interpretations of the Drama Triangle, these energies can evolve into more conscious expressions.
Victim becomes Creator — someone who takes responsibility for their experience.
Rescuer becomes Coach — someone who supports others without taking over.
Persecutor becomes Challenger — someone who speaks truth and sets boundaries in service of growth.
The aim is not to eliminate these energies entirely, but to bring awareness and skill to how they appear within the system.
Support and Challenge: The Coaching Polarity
Another lens that surfaced in the conversation was the polarity between support and challenge.
Healthy coaching requires both.
Too much challenge without support can feel attacking.
Yet support without challenge can easily become collusion.
We reassure.
We empathize.
We maintain rapport.
But we may stop short of naming the pattern that might be holding the team in place.
This dynamic can also appear in co-coaching partnerships.
A co-coach can provide grounding and perspective. Yet we can also unintentionally collude with our partner:
- reinforcing each other’s interpretations
- protecting one another from challenge
- aligning subtly against the team
Co-coaching therefore invites another question:
How do we support one another while still maintaining systemic awareness?
Collusion With Ourselves
One reflection that surfaced strongly in the conversation was the recognition that we also collude with ourselves.
This is not surprising — but it is important.
We may collude with:
- our inner critic
- our assumptions
- our desire to be liked
- our wish to maintain harmony
- our reluctance to disrupt the system
Sometimes the first place to cut the strings of collusion is within our own thinking.
The Body Often Knows First
Another thread that emerged was the embodied signals of collusion.
Participants described sensations such as:
- leaning toward agreement
- being pulled into someone else’s perspective
- losing one’s centre
- feeling physically drawn into conflict
- or feeling slightly nauseous when something felt “off”
These signals often appear before we can articulate the dynamic intellectually.
In systemic work, our bodies are often early-warning instruments.
A Call to Reflect:
For Teams and Leaders
- What patterns in our team do we collectively avoid naming?
- Where might we be protecting harmony at the expense of truth?
- Which roles do we most easily fall into under pressure?
- What might our current tensions be revealing about the system we are part of?
For Coaches and Team Coaches
- When have I noticed myself being pulled into a particular role in a team?
- What might that role be revealing about the system dynamic?
- Where might I be supporting without challenging?
- What patterns in the system am I seeing but not yet naming?
For Co-Coaches
- Where might we subtly reinforce each other’s interpretations of the system?
- When the team projects onto one of us, what might that reveal about the system dynamic?
- How do we challenge each other while maintaining trust and alignment?
For Supervisors of Coaches
- What signals suggest a coach may have become entangled in system dynamics?
- Where might the coach be experiencing parallel process with the team?
- How can supervision help transform these experiences into systemic insight?
A Closing Reflection
If collusion often emerges from our desire to maintain connection, then perhaps cutting its strings requires something equally human:
the courage to remain connected while telling the truth — even when that truth sits at the edge of comfort for the system.
And perhaps one final curiosity to carry forward:
If collusion means “to play together,” what becomes possible when we begin to notice the game we are playing — and choose how we want to play instead?
Continuing the Inquiry
Continue examining how collusion shows up in teams, leadership systems, and coaching relationships, with Novalda’s next Cutting the Strings of Collusion Conversation series.
For those working closely with teams, these questions will also continue in our Team Coaching Supervision groups, where we explore real cases and the systemic dynamics that emerge within them.