Is the universe flirting with you? Do certain songs, sights and ideas repeatedly flicker on the periphery of your attention? Are you noticing, missing or purposefully ignoring the signals that are being sent out?

Part of developing Relationship Systems Intelligence, so integral to effective leadership, lies in learning to acknowledge signals. CRR Global’s ORSC training accomplishes this in a number of ways. One tantalizing and amusing concept we explore is that of the Quantum Flirt.


“Maybe that’s what life is … a wink of the eye and winking stars.”
Jack Kerouac

As described by Arnold Mindell, a quantum flirt is “a short-lived, transient, perpetual signal which can be used to provide us with insight.”

A flirt from the universe can come in any form – as an object that catches the light, a scent in the air, a word or phrase you hear repeatedly. It might be a taste on your tongue, or a snatch of a melody you’d long forgotten. Perhaps it’s a bodily sensation that you choose to ignore – a ping deep inside or a throb behind the eye. It may come from something that is always present in your day-to-day life which sparks your curiosity, if you are present enough to notice it.

Are you too busy to check in with what the quantum flirt is trying to tell you?

The coincidences or little miracles that happen every day of your life are hints that the universe has much bigger plans for you than you ever dreamed of for yourself.”
Deepak Chopra

When a quantum flirt catches our attention, it momentarily distracts us from our everyday existence as we observe it. Once a flirt is noticed, we can choose to stop and deliberate on the meaning it offers. By reflecting on the bigger picture, we acknowledge that the future is not set in stone, but contains infinite possibilities.

What matters is not the flirt itself, but that you take the time to observe and reflect on it. What might you discover if you paused to consider what the universe is revealing? Perhaps it is a coincidence, and perhaps not. Above all, a flirt is a call to be present. It can alter your perception, nudge you down an unexpected path or simply remind you to expand your thinking.


“Coincidences mean you’re on the right path.”
Simon Van Booy


As this year and decade close in a season of wonder and celebration, this is the challenge I give you. Spend a few moments flirting with past and present.

First, close your eyes. Ask yourself – what do you need to release as you say farewell to 2019? Take a few deep breaths.

Now, allow your eyes to flicker open. What catches your attention? Is it a colour, a shape, a flash of light, a cloud in the sky? Or is it a physical sensation? As you stop to observe your surroundings, what calls to you?

In this moment, what significance does that object have for you? What is its essence? Is it possible that you’ve already received this message, and have marginalized it?

Remain open to the meaning, even if it seems strange. If it resonates, make a note of it.

Now close your eyes again, and repeat the exercise, while considering – what do you want to take with you into 2020?

If you’ve had no time recently to pick up on the signals that the universe is gifting you, this hushed season when nature pauses to renew itself provides an opportunity to reflect. Flirt with the idea that the universe invites you to step away from literal reality and instead look at the bigger picture, the essence of possibility.


Kerry Woodcock, Ph.D., leads change for a world of change, coaching pioneers and influencers to amplify the power of relationship and lead over the edge of change. As principal of Novalda, Kerry develops change leadership capability in organizations and social systems. Kerry is privileged to be CRR Global’s Canadian partner, bringing the magic-making ORSC training across the country.


Question | Does the concept of quantum flirts appeal to you?


Want to explore these ideas further?

Novalda Coaching & Consulting Inc.